Teenagers and social: a relationship space far from stereotypes
When talking about social media, the image that is often returned to us is that of a chaotic, overcrowded and borderless place. But for the new generations, those who use them more casually than anyone else, social media are not like that at all. On the contrary, they seem to have learned to draw sharp lines between public and private, between what can be shared and what must remain in a protected space.
On 22 January, the launch event of the fifth edition of Job Digital Lab was attended by 60 students from three high schools. How could we not take advantage of the presence of so many young people to hear directly from them what relationship they have with social platforms?
Obviously it was a quick reconnaissance that does not pretend to be a statistical study, but what emerged is a common feeling that goes towards a conscious, almost strategic approach that adults often lack.
‘My name is Francesco, I am 18 years old and I study business information systems at ITCS Schiaparelli Gramsci. I have Instagram and regularly use TikTok, where I don't have my own profile, but I use it to see content. On IG I have a public profile and a private one.
In the public one I post ‘nice’ photos of places I go, but I rarely do so. The private profile, on the other hand, is reserved for the closest circle of friends, where I feel free and comfortable to share more ‘silly’ photos and content. It is our private room, a room of our own, where entrances are controlled'.
This distinction between public and private is a recurring theme. Emerging is not only a greater concern for privacy, but also an awareness of how one's online choices influence the perception of others.
‘My name is Sergio. I also have a private and a public profile. The public profile is like a sort of cover: we guys use them to understand people we just met, we try to understand who you are. That's why we are careful about what we post: we don't want to be misunderstood and judged superficially.
When you meet a girl in a club, you exchange your Instagram profile: in this case, you give her your public profile just to get to know you a bit more, and she does the same.’
The idea of a ‘secret diary’ or a ‘secret room’ returns often in their words. Private, for these young people, is a protected, almost intimate space, shared only with those who deserve it.
‘My name is Rebecca and I am 17 years old. I also have a public and private profile. I don't feed everyone who I am, I protect myself, I am careful. Stories are perfect for sharing content without leaving a trace. Between girls we then help each other: we cross-check who is asking for our friendship. We are careful: we know that on the net everything is public and so we are careful not to publish what we don't want to be subjected to everyone's judgement.’
It is clear that these young people, despite having grown up with social media, do not let themselves be carried away without filters. On the contrary, they use them as tools, carefully calibrating every post and every piece of content. It is not a passive use, but an active, conscious, thoughtful one.
‘My name is Alessandro and yes, we are very conscious in using social media. For example, we prefer stories to posts, because stories last one day and that's it, while posts last forever and then can be used to steal information about you.’
The choice of stories, which disappear in 24 hours, is not random: it is a way to be there without staying. To share without the burden of permanence.
Talking to the guys, the feeling is that their relationship with social media is not as predictable as we sometimes tend to believe. They have found a balance between showing off and protecting themselves, between being visible and keeping a space for themselves.
And that ‘private profile’, that ‘room of our own’, is a place of freedom that they have consciously conquered. Not a space of isolation, but an environment in which to feel safe, light, authentic. After all, isn't this the most authentic function of social media? Not to be a showcase, but a bridge to build relationships that make sense, beyond the screen.
